Hello Space Center Fans, Staff, and Volunteers,
My western upbringing in the Black Hills of South Dakota is spillin out of me today, so humor me as I switch back to my writing style learned at the feet of my teachers in that one room school house by the Canyon Lake all those years ago (with a fair amount of exageration tossed into the brew to spice things up).
Christmas is over and the New Year is just over the horizon. January 6th—a day dreaded by students from the Rio Grande to the Northern Plains—will see many of us back at the schoolhouse and back on the trail with Space Center Field Trips.
I'll arrive at Renaissance Academy in Lehi around 6:30 A.M. First on my "to do" list is stokin the coal fires, and then polish up my arsenal of sarcastic remarks used to corral overly sugared students back into their proper places. An hour and a half later, the students will come moseyin' back into the classroom, trying to keep their spirits up by chanting the date of the next vacation like a campfire hymn. It’s all a bit sobering, isn't it?
"Do I look like I'm happy to be back!?"
I expect to take a fair amount of abuse that first day back from the winter break. I do my level best to greet my students proper, but I wouldn’t bet my best saddle on getting many optimistic responses. Usually, the young'uns return my friendly greetings with looks sour enough to turn milk. Some ignore me, while others toss "dirty looks" like they’re lobbing hand grenades. They're sixth graders. What do you expect?
But that’s alright; a teacher always has the last laugh. Remember, once those students are in their seats, they’re in my corral. Until the bell rings, they're just unruly colts under my watch. But once that bell rings at 8:00 A.M.............
A Typical "Dirty Look" to my "Welcome Back!"
I start the first morning by listing five hours of homework assignments on the chalkboard, topped off with a note saying, “Due Tomorrow.” That wakes 'em up faster than a bucket of ice water. Weeping and wailing usually follows. Once I see they remember their place in the schoolhouse pecking order, I start the positive reinforcement.
I’ll strike one of those assignments from the board if I hear a kind word about my lesson or my appearance. Soon enough, they’re trained better than a prize cow horse. They remember where the outhouse is, where the trash bins sit, and how to find the pencil sharpener. They start using a Kleenex to wipe their ever-running noses instead of their sleeves, and they stop usin' their index fingers to probe their nasal cavities. After a few hours, they start to resemble proper young ladies and gentlemen. By sundown, they’re speaking the Queen’s English and minding their manners. It’s all part of the job.
To the Space Center's many volunteers and staff: allow me to share a few bits of wisdom I’ve gathered over the years to get the new year started right. Remember, I hail from South Dakota—a fine state many of you have never had the pleasure of scouting. It lies just south of North Dakota (as if that helps any of you find it on a map).
Contrary to the tall tales you’ve heard, South Dakota has indoor plumbing, paved highways, and even airports. The Denver-to-Deadwood Stagecoach traded in its wheels years ago. You can visit our neck of the woods without fear of an ambush. And best of all, South Dakota doesn’t have a state income tax! The American Dream is alive and well in that capitalist oasis on the northern plains.
Cowboy Wisdom to Start 2026
I was raised in the rural parts of the state; true cowboy country. Folks out there have a unique, down-to-earth wisdom that applies to everyone, whether you can sit a horse or not. To get 2026 off on the right hoof, I’m sharin’ some cowboy logic I’ve picked up along the trail:
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
The Moral of the Mountain Lion: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
There are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
There are three kinds of men: The ones who learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
"I got a fire goin' and the biscuits are hot. I'll be waitin' for ya."
I’ll be plannin’ on hitching up the team and goin’ after the strays. Y'all enjoy these last few days of freedom. If y'all have some spare time, get your horse and come on out to help me check the fences. Bundle up tight—it’ll be colder than blue shadows on a winter morning.
Mr. Williamson
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